I wrote a couple blogs on making decisions a while back (like plus five years ago) and how one of the biggest dilemmas we face is knowing if we are making the ‘best’ decision ever or not. Today I want to expand on making decisions, but with a focus on your belief; particularly, when others have something different to say about what you believe in and the decisions you’re looking to make based on those beliefs. It is a struggle I think everyone faces at some point or another in their life. After all, what you believe in has been influenced and may still be influenced by others. This is what you want to explore and decide upon.
Let’s start with the fact that you should value your beliefs the same way you do those of others. What I mean is that you shouldn’t discredit your beliefs because others don’t believe the same. It is normal to second guess or want to talk out a belief, especially when you’re deciding on something important in your life; but since it is a decision that will affect your life, your belief, your gut feeling, should be number one of what you listen to when making your decision.
The reason for your belief to hold priority is that if you make a decision based on someone else’s belief, especially if it doesn’t resonate with what you believe in, and your decision turns out badly, you will most definitely not be happy. Additionally, you will either regret or be upset for listening to someone else instead of going with what you believed and felt was the right choice for you. This isn’t to say that someone can’t give you good advice, but if you hold a belief and you know what it is then there’s no reason to ask someone else what they would do or what they believe in.
Why do you ask someone what they think about a decision you’re going to make in the first place? Is it because you doubt your beliefs and thoughts? Is it because somehow you are certain their answers will be the right ones without a doubt? How can you be so sure that their beliefs are better than yours? And why would their beliefs be better than yours?
These are all questions you should ask yourself when you’re asking someone else what they believe in, instead of just listening to your own beliefs. You should also take that moment to reflect about your held beliefs, because if you’re asking someone else for their beliefs and putting them above yours, maybe you don’t really hold those beliefs you think are yours. Why else make a decision based on the belief someone else has instead of your own?
The struggle of following one’s own beliefs isn’t something surprising since we’re raised by parents who show us the way and teach us about life, teach us and show us how to make decisions and so on. However, there comes a time when what you feel in your heart becomes a lot more obvious. When what you believe in isn’t something based on what you were taught by your parents or society anymore, but it is a belief that stems from a feeling from inside, from your heart or your gut or both.
When you’re faced with a struggle of going with what you believe in versus what someone else believes in or tells you to believe in, stop and ask yourself why someone else’s belief holds more value than your own. If in that moment, in that questioning, you find an answer that transforms your belief into the one that the other person has or you find a certain answer to why their belief is more important and true than yours, then go with their belief. But if you don’t find any of that, then you should go with your belief or figure out why you keep holding beliefs that you don’t trust and that you won’t use to make important life decisions that affect you.
How do you work out the struggle between going with what you believe in versus what others believe in?