The most common source of frustration or objection I hear when talking about taking life with a positive spin all the way through is the fact that if something “bad” happens, it’s “bad”. If you break a leg or lose your house or are heartbroken; none of the above are good. How about if you lose a loved one or are cheated or betrayed, how do you get passed that?
Well, it’s really simple in that you make a choice; you can either look at it with the view of what you can take away from it or what you can do to make it better, or you can focus on how bad and wrong it is. This choice changes what happens to you in how this thing affects you. This decision then has an impact on your emotional state, which consequently affects your life.
Neither choice transforms the situation, but it does change how you feel and what you hold on to inside. It also doesn’t mean that this makes what you’re going through any less of a challenge, but if you look at it with the view of what am I learning throughout this process your level of frustrations will lower. Instead of walking around angrily, you contemplate what just happened and what you can do to make it better, for you.
No matter the “bad” situation, if you make it about the situation or the person who did something to you; you’re focusing on something you can’t change. What’s done is done, the only option is moving forward or staying stuck by keeping sadness and/or resentment in your heart. Doing something like that affects the quality of your life and can come back to bite you by taking a toll on your health and well-being.
How badly do you want feel happy inside? Do you want to look for balance and embrace what life throws your way? How much do you believe in the power of your mind, in the level of influence you have on yourself? Do you want external inputs to dictate how your tomorrow will be or do you want to hold on to the idea that something is unfair when you can’t change what that something is?
“Bad” things happen to all of us; for me those “bad” things are moments where we can rise above and see the hidden meaning. We touched on transforming challenges and seeing the opportunities in one of my previous blogs; I am a firm believer in all our challenges being opportunities that can bring inner growth if we choose to do so.
This choice doesn’t mean justifying someone for their actions or saying what is unfair is fair. What it’s doing is allowing us to explore ourselves and take in life experiences with a smile or at the very least with a valuable lesson that will allow us to smile tomorrow, that will bring inner growth, and that will allow us to find out more and more about who we are and how we can continue to share love with others and in any situation.
A state of peace and calm brings clarity and a warm heart; a state of frustration and anger brings chaos and resentment, and doesn’t change anything for our inner growth or for the situation that we just went through or are going through. When people get frustrated at me for giving them an alternative perspective, I understand their pain, I really do; but ultimately inner growth has so much to do with letting go. Letting go of judgement and a dualistic view, knowing that things happen and that things change, remembering that what we think, feel and say all become the life we will lead and the person we will be.
It’s sad to see so many people get stuck and feel stuck because of a “bad” thing that happened when they could move forward by releasing that feeling, and looking at that “bad” thing in a way that actually adds something to who they are and to what they can experience in life. Choosing to let go isn’t easy, especially not at the beginning; it really takes faith in this way of life to keep working at transforming those initial reactions, those initial thought processes. But I say, what do you have to lose right? If anything while you’re trying to take a different approach to “bad” things, you can stay a little calmer, learn something about yourself, and the next time around stay a bit more calmer and learn a bit more about yourself. Eventually, you get over the hump and getting over other humps, just gets easier and easier.
How do you get over life’s humps? How do you let go and what challenges have you faced along the way as you attempt to approach inner growth and a more peaceful and joyous life?