There’s a reason why taking a neutral initial approach to your life, issues, decisions, and challenges can make things easier. A neutral stance allows you to remove the confusion brought about by all the voices around you. By voices I mean parents, society, leaders and anyone else who has given you labels of right or wrong for something (whether that’s growing your business, improving your relationships, etc.). Of course reading and listening to all inputs is valuable because it allows you to add to your thought process, but before you can start adding to your own thoughts and feelings, you must know them. You must know yourself in and out, and you start this process thanks to the external inputs that can bring about that sense of confusion.
The irony is that a lot of the times this confusion isn’t necessarily identifiable. From the surface you feel fine, life is going great, there’s nothing that you feel confused about; and the ups and downs you go through are to you the norm. We’ve all heard it from somewhere or someone, “Life is hard, you have to fight for what you want, there will be bad days, the world is a cruel place.” This is how life is presented to us, this is how we’re motivated to go after what we want and how we learn to get through the down times. Actually, some even argue that humans are driven by that drama. If that’s how you want your life to be, it’s your choice; but if you’re in a place where you’re looking to balance things out, to find harmony and stop the internal drama, confusion, excessive ups and downs; there is a way.
Believe me, I’ve had that fluctuation of emotions; but at a certain point I said to myself, “I know there’s a way to even this out.” That way is to look inside every time there’s a blah feeling and to explore it for as long and as in depth as needed to get to the bottom of that feeling, the real reason why you’re feeling that way. When you feel a weight in your chest or a doubt in your gut or when whatever you’re doing is something that isn’t spontaneous and isn’t light or exciting in feeling; that’s your cue. It may seem tedious to do this and it’s most definitely tough at the beginning (even painful at times), but by exploring that moment you will figure out what’s really going on inside of you and you’ll be able to act on it so that your end result feels light and spontaneous.
It’s hard for us to identify this doubtful and heavy feeling immediately. It’s hard because sometimes it’s very faint and sometimes we are not even paying attention, we’re just acting. We’re acting based on what we know, what we’ve been taught. If you notice at any time a faint feeling of uneasiness in a situation or if you notice you are being inconsistent in following through with something, stop for a second. Stop what you’re doing or saying and think. Start asking yourself why are you feeling this way, start digging to find out what’s going on inside of you and keep looking until you find an answer that uplifts you.
Most of human’s dilemmas come about from within because instead of listening to our heart, we’re listening to everyone else. We’re listening to our parents, our teachers, our leaders, our doctors, someone who is more “experienced” than us, who is teaching us the way. Stop listening to them and start closing in on what you are saying to yourself. By asking questions you will find out, and through those questions you’ll also uncover the external inputs that are driving you “crazy”. Even if you only find out that this decision or thing or situation is something you don’t want, you’ve already made a step ahead and away from confusion. You’ve also made a step in the direction of stopping the lies you tell yourself and others, lies that look like inconsistencies from the outside and that make you feel blah on the inside.
Confusion doesn’t have to be noticeable to be present in our day to day lives, it is the small things that we don’t think about right away that indicate something is going on. Find your inconsistencies, find your uneasy feelings, find your heavy moments and start exploring.
How do you identify and resolve confusion?