The key to stopping internal confusion so that you can move forward

There’s a reason why taking a neutral initial approach to your life, issues, decisions, and challenges can make things easier.  A neutral stance allows you to remove the confusion brought about by all the voices around you.  By voices I mean parents, society, leaders and anyone else who has given you labels of right or wrong for something (whether that’s growing your business, improving your relationships, etc.).  Of course reading and listening to all inputs is valuable because it allows you to add to your thought process, but before you can start adding to your own thoughts and feelings, you must know them.  You must know yourself in and out, and you start this process thanks to the external inputs that can bring about that sense of confusion.

The irony is that a lot of the times this confusion isn’t necessarily identifiable.  From the surface you feel fine, life is going great, there’s nothing that you feel confused about; and the ups and downs you go through are to you the norm.  We’ve all heard it from somewhere or someone, “Life is hard, you have to fight for what you want, there will be bad days, the world is a cruel place.”  This is how life is presented to us, this is how we’re motivated to go after what we want and how we learn to get through the down times.  Actually, some even argue that humans are driven by that drama.  If that’s how you want your life to be, it’s your choice; but if you’re in a place where you’re looking to balance things out, to find harmony and stop the internal drama, confusion, excessive ups and downs; there is a way.

Believe me, I’ve had that fluctuation of emotions; but at a certain point I said to myself, “I know there’s a way to even this out.”  That way is to look inside every time there’s a blah feeling and to explore it for as long and as in depth as needed to get to the bottom of that feeling, the real reason why you’re feeling that way.  When you feel a weight in your chest or a doubt in your gut or when whatever you’re doing is something that isn’t spontaneous and isn’t light or exciting in feeling; that’s your cue.  It may seem tedious to do this and it’s most definitely tough at the beginning (even painful at times), but by exploring that moment you will figure out what’s really going on inside of you and you’ll be able to act on it so that your end result feels light and spontaneous.

It’s hard for us to identify this doubtful and heavy feeling immediately.  It’s hard because sometimes it’s very faint and sometimes we are not even paying attention, we’re just acting.  We’re acting based on what we know, what we’ve been taught.  If you notice at any time a faint feeling of uneasiness in a situation or if you notice you are being inconsistent in following through with something, stop for a second.  Stop what you’re doing or saying and think.  Start asking yourself why are you feeling this way, start digging to find out what’s going on inside of you and keep looking until you find an answer that uplifts you.

Most of human’s dilemmas come about from within because instead of listening to our heart, we’re listening to everyone else.  We’re listening to our parents, our teachers, our leaders, our doctors, someone who is more “experienced” than us, who is teaching us the way.  Stop listening to them and start closing in on what you are saying to yourself.  By asking questions you will find out, and through those questions you’ll also uncover the external inputs that are driving you “crazy”.  Even if you only find out that this decision or thing or situation is something you don’t want, you’ve already made a step ahead and away from confusion.  You’ve also made a step in the direction of stopping the lies you tell yourself and others, lies that look like inconsistencies from the outside and that make you feel blah on the inside.

Confusion doesn’t have to be noticeable to be present in our day to day lives, it is the small things that we don’t think about right away that indicate something is going on.  Find your inconsistencies, find your uneasy feelings, find your heavy moments and start exploring.

How do you identify and resolve confusion?


Do you turn the pages to enjoy the read of your life?

Inspired by a FB post made by my dear friends @ChargingLIFE.  Thanks guys!

Life's pages to read and turn - photo by FNM

Life’s pages to read and turn – photo by FNM

“Getting stuck on one part of your life is like living in stagnant mode. Don’t allow the pebbles along the road to chain you down and drown you from seeing the beauty that surrounds you in life. Learn from it, turn that page of your life, and keep walking.” – FNM

Making the best from what life throws at you is not the only option we have, but it is one of the best options for those who wish to live fulfilling and happy lives.

We all want answers; sometimes we get them and sometimes we don’t. What’s important is how you choose to live the life you do have and to find comfort and strength from yourself, loved ones and the beauties that do exist on this planet and in this life form.

We can choose to focus our attention on those so-called ‘negatives’; after all, it is our life and therefore a personal choice.  It’s just sad to think that someone chooses to live a painful existence versus appreciating the goodness they do have, including themselves.

Do you turn the pages to enjoy the read of your life?

Conscience vs. Reputation

“Worry more about your conscience than your reputation. Because your conscience is what you are, your reputation is what others think of you. And what others think of you is their problem.”
~ Charlie Chaplin.

10 Sources of Motivation or Not

Rocky in Philly photo by FNM (luna12780)

Rocky in Philly inspiring as always - photo by FNM (luna12780)

Have you ever wondered what motivates you?  What motivates humanity?  How is it that some people are so energetic, full of life, excitement, and successful at what they do?  It’s quite complex, yet simple: love of life, hope when hardships are faced, faith in themselves and their purpose for existing.

The above 3 sources of motivation are, in my opinion, the most positive motivators any one being can have in this unknown existence.  The reason for their complexity is that although they are 3 separate motivators, they make up one bigger motivator, which I define as self-completion (in the sense of individual self-fulfillment, self-realization, self-actualization; not in any way related to the symbolic self-completion theory)  A person who is complete will most likely be motivated by the above with passion, energy and strong spirit; in favor of life, humanity and the world. 

On the other hand, if you want a list of 10 more typical motivators, orientated around the six different types of worldviews or attitudes, but not necessarily including a growth oriented individual, they are as follows:

  1. Success
  2. Money
  3. Personal Satisfaction
  4. Love
  5. Fame
  6. Power
  7. Possessions
  8. Purpose
  9. Responsibility
  10. Survival

 The order of the above is not hierarchical in any way nor does it imply anything; they are only a list of what pushes individuals to do what they do.  Some do it with joy, others with fatigue; but all have something that pushes them to get up in the morning, go to work, live life and continue to function in today’s society. 

When we study humanity we find there are various factors that can motivate them.  Usually we begin this analysis on our own and through our own experiences.  We see people and how they act, make our own assumptions and come to some conclusions of what seem to us ideal reasons and forces behind what motivates us.  Other times the question arises for personal reasons; for example feeling like nothing motivates us.  When we look into this particular reason we find there have been some, such as Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann in their “The Social Construction of Reality: A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge”, who claim that we humans hold a high spot for practical motives.  Humans become accustomed to what their role is in society, in their life, to what they do, and are only challenged when their “routine” is broken by something.  In our case the source of rupture would be feeling that nothing motivates us, followed by the question of why that is, if there is something wrong with us or with something around us.  Usually the answer behind our question lies within our dissatisfaction.  A satisfied person would be aware of themselves, of what they enjoy, why they make their decisions and would face a dilemma constructively.   

Another perspective, one of the most comprehensive and popular ones, is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory. This theory was first mentioned in his “A Theory of Human Motivation” paper.  It was fully expanded on in his “Motivation and Personality” book.  Although some have criticized or mentioned short comings of Maslow’s theory it is quite complete due to it entailing all the needs humans usually face.  The needs include survival, as well as self-actualization.

If we decide to look thoroughly at what motivates humans, we will succeed in finding many reasons, many theories.  Some will say that what motivates us is good, others evil, still others selfishness, and some would also say selflessness.  The one thing I notice mostly, is that as long as the individual is motivated by self-growth and completion, his/her motives will be to assist joy of life and humanity; consequently, improvement and growth in the world, human and country relations, as well as internal happiness and completion of others.  To reach a level of completeness that motivates you and allows you to smile even in the face of adversity; that allows you to push for unity, so that one day humanity may stand as one; and spread the ideal worldwide; is one of the most complete forms of motivation and human potential (even evolution) I envision exists.