Getting passed bumps on the road to stop repeat patterns you don’t want anymore

There’s always so much I’d like to write about at once, so much I want to share with you about inner growth and in doing so inspire your highest potential.  Life can get pretty bumpy and this blog was created to help you make it passed those bumps, but also to help you transform them moving forward.  The transformation from bumpy life to life experiences helps you to avoid getting caught in that vicious cycle of repeating ups and downs or at least leveling the blow to allow you to move forward instead of staying stuck.  No one likes being stuck and there’s a way around it.  Of course, support and talking things through helps a lot.  So today’s topic aims to do just that (well the support part, talking is pretty hard to do on a blog ;)).

Today we’re going to take a look at really understanding why you could be getting stuck in repeat patterns with anything.  It could be work related or working through relationship disappointments, or even a recurring thought that seems to bring you down.

I’ve found a number of friends and colleagues that bring up the same topics over and over again.  Maybe they’re not advancing in their career or they keep getting into relationships that don’t go anywhere and my question to them is, “What are you doing to change the pattern?”

It’s very easy for us to notice when something isn’t going the way we want it to go, but when the question of why that is happening gets turned on us the answer usually indicates external circumstances as being culpable.  Although we don’t control what happens to us, we do control how we perceive it and respond to it.  The biggest challenge is looking at ourselves and asking how committed we are to changing our circumstances or even why are we even considering changing the circumstances.  Is it because we really want that promotion or is it because we’re supposed to want that promotion?  Is it because we want a relationship or because we need a relationship because we don’t like being alone?

Asking yourself or being asked those questions by someone else can hit a nerve.  It hits a nerve because it almost seems like you or the person asking the question is blaming you for the situation.  This isn’t the case at all, if the question is asked without judgement towards yourself or judgement by the other person.  Questions asked to understand what is going on allow an exploration of one’s self and in fact, even if the answer is “I don’t want that promotion” or “I don’t want to be alone, so yes, I need a relationship,” now that there’s an answer you can move to your solution.  You become proactive because even if the same situation presents itself multiple other times, you know where your discomfort is coming from so the only thing you’ll be using your energy and brain power for is to find how you can move beyond the problem and to the place you want to be.

I want to add that I’m not saying this is easy.  I can’t count the number of times someone’s said to me, “Easy for you to say!”  It’s not easy, it wasn’t easy, it’s a process that you go through if you really want to stop the drama in your life.  I know the people reading this blog are proactively pursuing inner growth to reach a higher state of self and happiness in life, and I want to hope that those who aren’t proactive yet, take a step forward in looking within.

If everything you do is seen with an awareness of your internal needs, fears, beliefs, and so on; you can rest assured that you will be able to move passed the bump and stop the repeat patterns.  At the very least, you’ll know on a conscious level that you are choosing to stay in that pattern, in that emotional pattern.  In the end, it’s not the situation per se that is the problem, but how you feel about it.  Understanding your inner feelings and thoughts is how you can know why you’re feeling that way and what thinking can change to transform the feeling, which in turn can transform the outcome.

How do you stop repeat patterns with those “bumps” in the road?  What has worked for you and what hasn’t?  And if I can help, please reach out!

 

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.  Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside awakens.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung

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