Staying calm when angry can avoid getting burnt and results in positive living


In response to an interesting point on anger made by @affirmyourlife on Twitter (@affirmyourlife: Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. – Dr. Laurence J. Peter), which I replied to (@luna12780: “That is very, very true…unless one is able to maintain their calm and clarity even while angry.”), my #inspirational #quote of the day (on anger) was born:

Anger under control doesn't burn - photo by FNM
Anger under control doesn’t burn – photo by FNM

“Anger can burn us in and out. Learn to care for your fires. This way they will keep you warm, but not burn you.” – FNM

What are your thoughts? Do you feel calm even when angry or do you lose control?  Have you ever met anyone who can stay calm although they are angry?


4 comments on “Staying calm when angry can avoid getting burnt and results in positive living”

  1. Interesting

    Now, how exactly do you define an emotion like anger. Emotions are like thoughts, they arrive in our consciousness, stay a while, then exit. Few people possess the skills to let emotions flow on through us without engaging them.

    Anger in my opinion, 95% of the time is summoned because of fear. A threat, something dangerous brings out an angry reaction from us. Anger feels more secure than being vulnerable.

    The person who can stay calm when angered has surrendered to his/her fears and thoughts for a long time over and over. It is called mindfulness.

    1. It is true, ‘how can one define an emotion’, they really cannot; but I’m sure you have read, or at least I know I have read and come across those who do. To me no one definition of emotion can ever stand or be enough to express that emotion because everything, especially emotions, is subjective. However, on maintaining one’s calm while angry and reaching mindfulness, I do believe it to be possible if an individual wishes to do so and works on it. Awareness is key, which includes acknowledging one’s fears. I would say that someone who stays calm when angered is fully aware of what is taking place and maintains that openness to the situation. In doing so they are able to manage their anger productively as it is taking place. Does that mean they don’t feel anger or experience it? Not at all, it is highly unlikely for any human not to feel a tiny bit of emotion (whether it be anger or joy); even ‘numbness’ because that is still feeling something.

  2. Here is a quote from Coping with Trauma related dissociation. On anger

    “Specific parts of you personality may be angry and are usually easily evoked.  because these parts are dissociated, anger remains an emotion that is not integrated for you as a whole person.  Even though individuals with dissociative disorder are responsible for their behavior, just like everyone else, regardless of which part may be acting, they may feel little control of these raging parts of themselves.
    Some dissociative parts may avoid or even be phobic of anger.  They may influence you as a whole person to avoid conflict with others at any cost or to avoid setting healthy boundaries out of fear of someone else’s anger; or they may urge you to withdraw from others almost completely.
    Parts of you are phobic of anger and generally terrified and ashamed of angry dissociative parts.  There is often tremendous conflict between anger-avoidant  and anger-fixated parts of an individual.  Thus, an internal and perpetual cycle of rage-shame-fear creates inner chaos and pain.
    You as a whole person are thus unable to reconcile conflicts about anger and learn to tolerate and express anger in healthy ways.  Inner turmoil and dissociation are maintained.”

    Another stuck part here

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