As we explore life, our ups and downs, and continue our inner growth journey there are bound to be moments of insecurities. Everyone gets them, even if they may be few and far. Insecurities can have different ways of making us feel, but if we stay away from attributing a negative connotation to them we can reduce those down feelings and use those moments of insecurities in favor of strength and inner growth.
When it comes to insecurities and inner growth, it’s always a matter of perspective. From where does your thought process on the situation begin? If you begin contemplation from a place of judgement towards yourself as someone who’s not good enough (for example), then you’re already thinking in a way that doesn’t give you the drive to move forward. It’s not that you don’t want to be driven, but you’re thought begins with a limiting belief on your own capabilities, which means within your peripheral view you see a limit. The limit becomes your “solution” because that’s what you’re seeing. If on the other hand, you begin your thought process from a place of neutral ground towards yourself, so knowing that you’re feeling uncertain about something, but without the component of limited belief, this leaves you open to the contemplation of different options because you’re not telling yourself you can’t. In a neutral mindset, you’re seeing a challenge (insecurity), but leaving yourself open to the possibility of a different outcome.
There are a lot of people who think they are the only ones who are insecure, which adds to that feeling of loss and limitedness. I’m sure you’ve had those friends who when you’ve told them about your insecurities have said something like, “Wow, so I’m not the only one who feels this way about this or that thing?!” Feeling like you’re the only one doubting things makes you feel even more alone and like there’s no way out. This is why so many people find comfort in hearing the individuals they look up to, share insecurities and challenges. It helps individuals know they’re not alone, but also that it doesn’t mean they are limited in any way. Hence, the absence of judgement on yourself when feeling insecure.
With a neutral feeling towards yourself and your insecurities you can move to the next piece of the puzzle, which is questioning what is going on with these feelings. Why are you feeling insecure? Is it that you’re comparing yourself to others? Is it that someone you love has expressed an unsatisfactory comment? Is it you trying to meet expectations you’ve set for yourself without realizing what external forces (you don’t control) are playing a part in meeting your set goals? All of these questions and more are things to ask yourself whatever the insecurity may be.
An inner growth mindset can help you reduce the limited feelings and thoughts that come with life challenges, such as insecurities, but what will dissolve that feeling to a minimum is the self-worth you give yourself and your own opinions, actions, and so on. This isn’t to say you should ignore external advice or people when it comes to doing something, but you should personally feel good about it and realize that your opinion on something that affects your life is worth just as much as the next. Your focus needs to be on your heart, on you, not on the right or wrong measured by everything and everyone else. Those components are necessary for you to know and unavoidable to have around, but it’s up to you what power they have over how you see yourself, feel about yourself, and live your life.
Our insecurities stem from a comparison with someone or something that is outside of us or something that we’ve heard or seen, or someone who’s pointed out some comparison and their own measure of excellent or not. This doesn’t mean we’re not good enough or that we’ve failed. It only means we’re measuring our situation with something else (or someone else). The judge of whether it is better or not can come from the outside world or yourself. The more you rely on what you feel inside on being ok with you, the more you will diminish feelings of inadequacy. Does this mean other people measuring success or failure in their own way will be the same as yours? Not necessarily, but that shouldn’t be your focus because these people are not your solution and they are not a solution to your insecurities either.
How have you pursued inner growth thanks to the insecurities you’ve faced and/or continue to face?