Moving beyond positive and negative judgements

Moving beyond positive and negative judgements

Along this journey called life there are some that have a positive outlook, while others a negative one.  Even though I use these words, I do not believe they embody the true essence of what a positive or negative outlook entail.  Actually, I don’t believe they embody much, except for an initial thought that can bring about further exploration into that outlook.

For now, our world has a pretty dualistic view of things, this view stops at the surface of things and situations; it does not pursue the depth of each situation for each unique individual.  Humans, society, the world have had to find ways to group people, things and places so that we can function as a whole.  It’s hard to get anything to work without a system, without definitions, and decisions.  However, the reality is that each human being is more than just the words ascribed to them from the vocabulary established so far and from our dualistic system (good/bad, positive/negative).  Behind anything that happens there is much more than a positive outcome or a negative outcome, then good or bad.

Although there are many who still find comfort in dualism and do not venture off to talking about life in a way that tries to see the full depth of the situation or person; I also find that there are many who do see that there’s so much more that meets the eye when it comes to people and life.  Just look at how many are turning to meditation, the rise of leaders who are spiritual in nature (Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Eckhart Tolle, Gregg Braden); by spiritual I don’t mean religious, but I mean those who are talking about humans and that deeper level that was pretty much hidden from us until now (hidden from the media and from our human eyes).

It is not positive or negative, it is not good or bad, it is more about encountering something you didn’t expect, it is more about feeling weighed down and like you have no escape from a situation, it is more like feeling there isn’t a place for you, it is more like trying to figure out how to feel secure and at ease when there are so many unknown factors ahead.  It is more about uncovering your purpose, meaning, and achieving things you hold in your heart.

I’ve never believed in good and bad, just different, more pleasant or less pleasant, choices of love or choices of fear.  Obviously, this type of thought doesn’t resonate with everyone and that’s ok because it’s not about bad or good, or positive or negative, but it’s about how you can overcome your frustrations, fears, weighed down feeling and get out of a rut if that’s where you’re at.

The reality is that those who believe they are chained down to and by the events and circumstances that happen to them aren’t reading this blog, they’re not even exploring such notions or if they are, they’re finding it very hard to believe that we, humans, have a choice and aren’t chained down to anything, but what we choose to have us chained down.

Those individuals with a negative outlook aren’t negative per se; they are simply weighed down by events that come their way.  They feel there is no escape and they’re stopping at what they see as their proof of that.

And they will say to someone who tries to tell them to believe that everything will work out, “I’m being realistic, stop dreaming.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that time and time again.  There is no changing someone’s outlook on life and their experiences, to someone who is in that negative mindset you can only offer unconditional love and support; as long as they don’t start imposing their challenges on you and stop you from pursuing your own inner growth and happiness.

 It is not right for anyone to impose their way or view on someone else or think they need to convince the other of their view because that’s what will bring them happiness.  Each individual has a journey and if they choose a negative outlook that is their choice, it is not up to anyone to judge it right or wrong.  And if you really want to help, then love and support are the only thing that will provide some comfort to those individuals.

For those who are struggling to believe in life and trust that everything will be alright and that these moments of discomfort are opportunities for inner growth, harmony and happiness; I say to you, it’s a process.  Up till now, we’ve been wired (so to speak) to see things as good or bad, to judge and categorize humans, identity, and things into sets of right and wrong.  To reach your balance, to lift that weight, you must start releasing these old ways of seeing things and the only way you’re going to do this is by applying your new found thought process to situations of discomfort, to situations and people you judge, to anything that comes your way and that you cringe at.  These are your opportunities to explore yourself, pursue inner growth as you do this, and rewire your brain to stop seeing only two sides of the coin, but instead to see the depth behind the surface of each situation of each individual.

It is known that each of us on earth is simply trying to pursue happiness, to understand our purpose, to reach the highest potential we can that makes us feel we are expressing everything we feel we are everyday of our life and in everything we do, and to live a good life.  When you start looking at the world from the depth that it is made up of, instead of stopping at the surface, then you will have begun an amazing journey that will also help those around you to catch a glimpse (at the very least) of the beauty that life entails.  There are no real chains, just our own chains.

What do you think about positive and negative outlooks?  About the dualistic view the world applies to things, events, people?


Consistency speaks louder than words and actions

Consistency speaks louder than words and actions - photo by FNM

Consistency speaks louder than words and actions – photo by FNM

“Actions are louder than words; as is consistency. Blend the two together and you have the truth of that moment, of that person, of that character.” – FNM

I saw a quote that stated “I don’t believe what you say. I believe what you do.”  At first impulse I wanted to ‘like’ the Facebook post, but then I paused and remembered that I know many individuals who speak and act differently, but their words are actually true to their thoughts (even if not portrayed through their actions).

This pause made me want to underline how consistency in actions and words is much more essential to finding the truth than solely looking at actions and words.

Sometimes people may say things they believe, but not have the impulse to apply them. They could refrain due to an issue in their life we don’t know about or it could be that they merely take words and what they say lightly (giving it no weight whatsoever).

Either way, their true person, character or way of behaving and/or reacting in a particular moment will come out through their consistent actions and words.

It isn’t merely because an individual says one thing and does another; or acts one way, but doesn’t speak it that will (or could) unfold their person and who they are. It is through the years of getting to know them, being around them, noticing the little things they do or don’t do, say or don’t say.

Empathy, willingness to look farther than your subjective views and ways, no outlines and no expectations is what can make a blind person see.  Anything else is a veiled truth created by one’s own subjective views and schemes.

Thank you for the spark that lit my writer’s fire on this day through your lovely shares A Beautiful Mess Inside via Quotes And Sayings.

The Question of Life

“…. A new question has arisen in modern man’s mind, the question, namely whether “life is worth living,” and correspondingly, the feeling that one’s life “is a failure,” or is “a success.”  This idea is based on the concept of life as an enterprise which should show a profit.  The failure is like the bankruptcy of a business in which the losses are greater than the gains.  This concept is nonsensical. 
We may be happy or unhappy, achieve some aims, and not achieve others; yet there is no sensible balance which could show whether life is worth while living.  Maybe from the standpoint of a balance life is never worth while living.  It ends necessarily with death; many of our hopes are disappointed; it involves suffering and effort; from a standpoint of the balance, it would seem to make more sense not to have been born at all, or to die in infancy.  On the other hand, who will tell whether one happy moment of love, or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies?  Life is a unique gift and challenge, not to be measured in terms of anything else, and no sensible answer can be given to the question whether it is “worth while” living, because the question does not make any sense.” – by Erich Fromm The Sane Society

How many of you have asked yourself the question stated above, especially in a moment of crisis?  How about questions always related to life like “what’s the point”, “why am I here”, or “what is life”? 

Just like making decisions (a topic recently explored), questions about life and our purpose boggle our minds, as well as create disruptions in our daily lives.  Existential queries and uncertainties can make us sad, happy, and frustrated.  They can also make us feel lost and surrounded by darkness. 

The effects of the types of questions that deal with human performance and human existence (most of the time based on definitions we have been taught to be high and/or low performance and the reason(s) for existence) can bring us down, but can also push us towards the better.  It always depends on what spin each of us gives it (besides the external factor that are not in our control).

Life - photo by MLR

If people can accept that we are put on this planet for reasons we are unaware of or possibly for no reason at all, and that we will never really find out if there is one truth or not, or if so, only after death; we might handle the uncertainty of life a bit better. 

It is somewhat like existentialism; to put it in Sartre’s words: “…by existentialism we mean a doctrine which makes human life possible and, in addition, declares that every truth and every action implies a human setting and a human subjectivity.”  The way people want to handle their life queries is how they will eventually live their life.

  • Some have faith in more than this terrestrial existence and therefore give life meaning and reason through their faith. 
  • Others solely believe in this terrestrial life.
  • Still others are conflicted and possibly believe both or do not know what to believe.

Even the existentialists had divisions among their group.  Sartre divides them into three groups: Christian existentialists, atheistic existentialist and the French existentialists.  Psychology has divisions among its methodology and beliefs as well: humanistic psychology, behaviorism, functional psychology, psychoanalysis, and even existential psychology (and these are only a few of the long list).  As with entities, beliefs, and groups created by the bond of common thought between more than one person; so are there multiple reasons and answers to what life’s journey is all about. 

Life 2 - photo by MLR

Studies have found that people often worry about things they have no control over and that only 8% of what we worry about is actually valid reason for preoccupation (this percentage comes from a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin and found in The speaker’s quote book by Roy B. Zuck). 

One of the reasons for this article serves the purpose of amplifying your view on the multifaceted aspects of what seems to be a simple question or simply put, to expand a topic you have most certainly come across before.  It is also a way to try and alleviate a possible burden caused by the unanswered question, as well as point out that no matter what your spin is, no matter how you want to think about life, it is not something you can quantify or classify (I would also add, that this is fundamental and possibly the most important aspect to keep in mind). 

Living is emotions, loved ones, tears, smiles; and the purpose of life is simply that: to live it to the fullest, make the best of good and/or bad, find your true essence, take pleasure in seeing the sun rise, and when times get tough try to give yourself strength by knowing that you can only make the best of your life because whether you believe in an afterlife or not, this is all you can know today.  I know this idea is cliché, but the reality of it is exactly this. 

Life 3 - photo by MLR

Make the best of your life and give it the meaning you think it has.  Although we like thinking there is one way and one truth, for this topic there are so many answers; it is hard to believe that only one of them is “right”.

I would love to know what your meaning of life is and why you think we live.  If anyone would like to share comment below or on my FB page, or write me at

P.S. I wanted to add a personal note: This is my 100th blog post and in honor of this special occasion (well at least it’s a special occasion to me) I wanted to write about something important.  I couldn’t think of anything more important than the topic of life, in addition to it being one of the topics I’ve explored and continue to explore through my reading, experiences and the people I encounter.  Without life we would not be here and with it as humans we wonder what it is all suppose to mean.  I hope my exploration on the topic was helpful to those burdened by the question of life, as well as insightful to those who are intrigued by the subject matter. 

Thank you for reading and giving purpose to what I share.