What’s the challenge with being considerate

There are plenty of considerate people; actually, I bet everyone finds themselves to be a considerate person (at least in some ways or circumstances).  In fact, often you find people talking about how considerate they are while they find others to be so inconsiderate.  Is this true?  Are they considerate and others just so inconsiderate?  As always it comes down to perspective and who’s talking.

Our world and actions revolve primarily around our own needs, whether consciously or unconsciously.  No one is exempt from this, even the most considerate person will make choices that won’t harm them.  We all make decisions, even if sometimes for someone else and a sacrifice for us.  However, the reality is that the choice (even if entailing a sacrifice) was a better decision for us than the opposite choice.  So, when it comes to being considerate I think intent plays a bigger role.

Understanding a person’s actions means knowing who you have in front of you and this includes their personality, environment, life circumstances, and their heart.  The hardest part of this is removing one’s own judgement and needs, which is why we see so many inconsiderate people.  Of course, I look at people and remember the challenges that life presents each one of us; and that I can never know how it is to walk in another person’s shoes fully.  I can try to imagine; but if I’m not living their life, how can I possibly know for sure what I would do and how I would act.  I don’t think I could, plus if I’m me, I could never think like them.

There are characteristics that seem to be a part of a consistently considerate person’s personality and those include empathy and the understanding of another person having to make decisions they will never come to fully understand themselves (since they are who they are and the other person is who they are).  These types of individuals can be considerate to a farther extent than others because they have in their peripheral view the knowledge of all these different types of people and circumstances, the awareness of the unknown when it comes to living another’s life.

The next time you think someone is being inconsiderate, you may be right; but remember that if their intent wasn’t to exclude your needs, then maybe they didn’t mean to be inconsiderate.  Also, when you are expecting someone to be considerate of your needs, aren’t you being inconsiderate of theirs?  It’s never a win-win if you want to stack up the points of who’s being more considerate or less considerate.

If a person is that inconsiderate towards you, the best thing you can do for yourself is remove them from your circle of friends, or simply stop being considerate of their needs and that way you’ll be on the same plane of give and take (for you, since you have the issue with them).

What do you think about the considerate/inconsiderate topic?

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Inner Growth Word of The Day 95 – Passive

April 5

Inner Growth Word of the Day: Passive

 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition: (adj.) 3 a. receiving or enduring without resistance.  3 b. existing or occurring without being active, open, or direct.

 

Passive in a sentence: When being passive in any type of situation or scenario, it doesn’t mean an individual doesn’t want or expect a different outcome from what’s going on; they’re just not actively doing something to change the circumstances.

 

Passive in action: When things around you are happening and you stand by watching or you don’t speak up; you’re being passive.

 

Passive and inner growth: Understanding the reasons for you being passive, whether just sometimes or always, brings you to accept the decision to continue in such a way or resolve the reasons for your passiveness.  Inner growth takes place thanks to your increased self-awareness on being passive, and your acceptance or active transformation to bring about changes that are in tune with your heart (around passiveness).

 

Passive and inner growth action steps:

  1. In-depth self-exploration questions: How do I feel about being passive? How has being passive affected my life?  What have I learned about being myself from exploring my passiveness?  When am I passive?  Is there anything common in the areas I am passive in?  Do I know people who are passive?  What lessons have I learned about life through passive choices and people?  Do I judge being passive?

 

  1. List or word bubble: Make a list and/or word bubble with passive at the center and then list or put around it all the other words that come to mind associated with it. Now write down three times you were passive in your life and next to each of the three life events you list, place one or two of the words from your first list.  Pick one of the three life events where you were passive that stands out the most to you and write out that day as if you were re-living it.  Use in your story the one word you placed next to the life event.

 

  1. Bring your awareness to your feelings about being passive and allow it to speak to you through the exploration of the sensations you’re feeling (maybe tingly feelings or warmth near your heart, etc.). Allow those feelings to expand throughout your body and silence any images or thoughts that come to mind.  Do this for about five minutes and then allow thoughts to come by and focus on the very first thing that comes to mind.

 

Your turn – Share your passive sentence, life examples, and inner growth action steps; and let me know if you’d like to see something added to our Inner Growth Word of The Day explorations 🙂