There are plenty of considerate people; actually, I bet everyone finds themselves to be a considerate person (at least in some ways or circumstances). In fact, often you find people talking about how considerate they are while they find others to be so inconsiderate. Is this true? Are they considerate and others just so inconsiderate? As always it comes down to perspective and who’s talking.
Our world and actions revolve primarily around our own needs, whether consciously or unconsciously. No one is exempt from this, even the most considerate person will make choices that won’t harm them. We all make decisions, even if sometimes for someone else and a sacrifice for us. However, the reality is that the choice (even if entailing a sacrifice) was a better decision for us than the opposite choice. So, when it comes to being considerate I think intent plays a bigger role.
Understanding a person’s actions means knowing who you have in front of you and this includes their personality, environment, life circumstances, and their heart. The hardest part of this is removing one’s own judgement and needs, which is why we see so many inconsiderate people. Of course, I look at people and remember the challenges that life presents each one of us; and that I can never know how it is to walk in another person’s shoes fully. I can try to imagine; but if I’m not living their life, how can I possibly know for sure what I would do and how I would act. I don’t think I could, plus if I’m me, I could never think like them.
There are characteristics that seem to be a part of a consistently considerate person’s personality and those include empathy and the understanding of another person having to make decisions they will never come to fully understand themselves (since they are who they are and the other person is who they are). These types of individuals can be considerate to a farther extent than others because they have in their peripheral view the knowledge of all these different types of people and circumstances, the awareness of the unknown when it comes to living another’s life.
The next time you think someone is being inconsiderate, you may be right; but remember that if their intent wasn’t to exclude your needs, then maybe they didn’t mean to be inconsiderate. Also, when you are expecting someone to be considerate of your needs, aren’t you being inconsiderate of theirs? It’s never a win-win if you want to stack up the points of who’s being more considerate or less considerate.
If a person is that inconsiderate towards you, the best thing you can do for yourself is remove them from your circle of friends, or simply stop being considerate of their needs and that way you’ll be on the same plane of give and take (for you, since you have the issue with them).
What do you think about the considerate/inconsiderate topic?